The Awkwardness

Its not resentment until you do something well.

Its not sadness until we have a happy moment.

Its not anger until we get along.

Its not fear until I feel peaceful.

It’s the little moments gone right and wondering if it will ever happen again. It’s the times where we laugh until we cry. It’s the times we forget everything that has happened and spend the day ignoring the difficult parts of life. It’s the times we eat ice cream and watch Disney because we want the night to be perfect. It’s the times we can sit next to each other, say nothing, and feel each other’s love. It’s the times we can talk about the small details, like what’s for dinner or what we learned in school. When we can talk about traffic and 4yr olds. When there is nothing but joy on our faces by just spending time together.

Those pure moments. The good times. They make it awkward. They make me see the other moments. The moments where I want to yell. When I want to break down and ugly cry. Where anger comes out of nowhere and we shut ourselves off from each other. Where we fear what the other wants to talk about because we know it will cause pain. Pain that is necessary to get back to those good moments. 

Pain that could last longer than the last time. 

Hope that it is the shortest moment. 

Joy when it passes. 

Peace when it becomes the norm.